Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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