there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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