She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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