I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
