The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
