break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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