Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
