eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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