i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize