I wish my penis had an off switch
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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