I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
