brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize