did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
