We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
