Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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