haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
