Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize