i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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