oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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