Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
