I skipped work to stalk him.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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