Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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