Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
