So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
