Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
