dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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