like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
