Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
