You can't motorboat a personality
it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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