Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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