If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
