and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
