My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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