i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
