Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
