Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
