well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
