I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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