I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
