On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize