Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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