my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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