i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
