check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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