We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
