If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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