How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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