I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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