just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
