oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
