i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
