we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My bed smells like the plague
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
