dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
