Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
