i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize