I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sorry about my life...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
