so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
