3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
